My Au Pair Horror Story
Hey Au Pairs!
I’m sure during the midst of learning about the world of au pairing you’ve also heard some au pair horror stories. Perhaps you’ve even met au pairs who’ve gone through unfortunate au pair situations. I too have had my own horror story experience and want to share my story and share some tips for any au pair going through a similar situation.
To learn more about my horror story experience and some tips keep on reading!
My Au Pair Horror Story
All I wanted to do was au pair in Germany for a month. I was learning German and thought the best way to learn the language was to immerse myself in the language and culture so I sought after a family in Germany. During my search I was finding it difficult to find any family in Germany who was willing to host me for a month and I was growing desperate. Eventually I received a message back from a family in Munich who was willing to host me.
The mom requested to video call me and I learned she was a stay at home mom with a husband who was away for work a majority of the time so she wanted someone to help her out with the kids. She told me she liked my profile and asked me to join their family for a month as a live in au pair. She even offered to pay for my round trip flight, cover the cost of my transport pass and pay me an extra 100 euros on top of my au pair salary. It almost seemed too good to be true. I would later find out that’s because it was.
Arriving in Munich for the first time…
The day I arrived in Munich the mom had arranged for me to be picked up at the airport by their family friend who would drop me off at their home. Upon my arrival we all had dinner and the mom went over my duties and expectations once more. She communicated to me that all she wanted me to do was help the kids get ready in the morning, prepare breakfast, do a bit of light housekeeping, help them with any homework, play with the kids, prepare dinner sometimes and put the kids to bed. I had au paired before it sounded familiar to what I had done in my prior family so I knew I could handle this.
My first week came and went with a few hiccups and the family went away to Dubai during the middle of the week to visit the host dad who was a private pilot stationed there. My second week was when things started going sour. According to the mom the breakfast was never good enough, the organization of the kid’s closets was not up to her standards. She was also furious that I wasn’t doing more. Apparently, every day I was expected to clean the entire home, do the gardening, clean out the family car, take out the recycling and do the laundry for the entire family. She had never communicated any of these extra duties to me and these weren’t duties that I, as an au pair, should be doing.
I kept doing them though. I was afraid to stand up for myself. The mom would yell at me on a daily basis and complained about how expensive I was and even locked me out of common areas. I would have no access to the kitchen or living room and on several occasions the family would ask me to leave common areas during my time off as they wanted to relax alone. They couldn’t even stand the sight of me. On top of this the mom had lied to me. She refused to pay for my transport pass and never paid me the extra 100 euros she promised.
leaving and never returning!
Eventually, I made it to the end of my month and the mom booked my flight to go home but she had booked the ticket to leave on the day of her birthday which upset her. “How dare you leave on my birthday, you’re going to ruin my day!” she yelled at me. I quietly reminded her that it was she who had booked my flight to leave on this day, but she ignored me. The morning of my departure no one said goodbye to me. I was left to find my own transportation to the airport and I cried tears of joy as my Uber pulled away from their house of horrors.
I can’t even begin to explain how much this experience affected my mental health. I felt worthless, useless and stupid. I never want anyone else to go through what I experienced so check out the tips below to avoid these types of families!
Tips
Don’t go for the first family who talks to you, take your time and chat to several families.
Video call more than once and ask to see the kids on camera too.
Ask the host family to communicate clearly what your duties and expectations will be. Get this written down in contract too.
Always ask to speak to the host family’s former au pairs!
Be an advocate for yourself! I wish I would have stood up for myself.
Don’t be afraid to rematch!
If you find yourself in a similar situation, check out APOP’s coaching program where you can talk about any problems you might be facing as an au pair and get help with the rematching process.
Have you had your own horror story? Let me know in the comments down below and check out A’Tavia’s au pair horror story in the video!